Jovo rejected trade to Islanders...

Phoenix Coyotes defenceman Ed Jovanovski reportedly rejected a trade that would bring him to Long Island this past offseason by using his very handy no-no clause.

Rumours had been swirling for much of the offseason and heading into the new campaign that Phoenix was intent on trading the veteran pointman if he could waive his no-trade clause.

This is surprising, as the Rangers were the rumoured New York team to be seeking Jovanovski, in a rumour that was shot down several times due to cap constraints involving the overpaid Canadian's $6.5 million figure.

Why overpaid?

Simple, Jovanovski has done close to nothing to merit that kind of paycheck from the Coyotes.
He's been injured far too many times and his offensive prowess that got him this deal has suffered in the desert under the regime of Yotes' head coach, Wayne Gretzky.

A change of scenery would do him good, although, I hear players love living in Arizona and that most of their families are well settled there; and despite their not-that-unobvious hockey woes, players accept to play there, even if it means for a losing team (no offence meant) and a cool salary like JovoCop's.

As stated in the article linked above, Isles GM Garth Snow proceeded to sign both Andy Sutton and Bryan Berard instead of Jovanovski.
And despite Sutton's inconsistency, and Berard's uncertainty (of how long his decent performance so far will last), I'd take them both any day over Jovanosvki because:
a) Their salaries combined barely surpass half of Jovo's.
b) They will eventually combine for more points together
c) They're buff and gritty and look like Islanders...Jovanovski, would not look good as an Islander, it just wouldn't feel right.
d) They aren't locked into a contract that long (Jovo's got 3 more years)
e) Last time I checked, having 2 pointmen of a decent to above average caliber who can toughen out the minutes, hit hard and score on the powerplay is better than having an overpaid, aging, injury-prone and underachieving veteran.

Many are calling Jovanovski "McCabe revisited"; as the latter has struggled since signing a huge deal with the Maple Leafs as well, and is drawing criticism from fans and the media alike for his occasional brain cramps and missed opportunities.

On a happier note, happy 33rd Saku!

-BBeR

Tucker the Hypocrite

So, Sean Avery gets into a pre-game confrontation with Darcy Tucker and Jason Blake in Toronto on Saturday night. The confrontation between Avery and Tucker continued throughout the Rangers' shootout victory over the Leafs, including a first-period scrap.

After the game, Tucker goes all over TV and radio calling Avery classless (um, pot? Kettle?), and planting seeds in the heads of the Toronto media about what Avery might have said before the game.

Two days later, Howard Berger reports on Toronto's 590 The FAN that a Rangers' player told him that Avery made a remark about Jason Blake's recent cancer diagnosis, and a media firestorm is created.

Let's face it, Sean Avery is an easy target. Everyone who isn't a Ranger fan hates him, so it isn't exactly difficult to get the North American hockey media in a lather over this controversy. And, what do the media like more than getting up on their PC high horse to criticize someone whom no one likes? It's a no-lose proposition.

Now, no one would condone anyone making a derogatory remark about someone having cancer. Certainly not me. I lost my Grandmother to cancer when I was seven, and watched my brother beat Hodgkin's disease, just three months after he graduated college.

Having said that, is Darcy Tucker serious? Let's put aside for a second that there is not a shred of evidence that Avery actually made such a remark. Even if he did, is this where Darcy Tucker draws the line in the sand?

Tucker has made his entire NHL career on being a cheap shot artist. A man (and, I use that term so very loosely) with such little regard for his fellow players that he has no trouble putting their health and livelihood at risk each time he steps on the ice.

Is making a distasteful remark about cancer really worse than intentionally blowing out Michael Peca's knee in the 2002 playoffs?

Look, I'm not one of these people who thinks we should take fighting and hitting out of the game. Physical intimidation has been, and always should be, part of the game. But, have we become so PC that someone with a history of intentionally injuring opponents can get up in front of cameras and self-righteously pontificate about someone's allegedly insensitive remark, and no one bats an eye? Could no one in the media be bothered to point out to Mr. Tucker that he might have been the last person who should be commenting on any of this?

Since there is no proof that Avery said anything about Blake's cancer, and Blake himself has said he has no knowledge of any such remarks, I'm giving Avery the benefit of the doubt. And, even if I'm wrong, and Avery said something that I would personally find reprehensible, the last person I want to hear lecturing us about class is Darcy Tucker.

Turning Point in Rangers' Season

It's been quite a while since I was able to post here, because my wife and I welcomed our first child into the world recently, and, as you can imagine, it has kept us quite busy.

During this time, the Rangers seem to have found their game, winning 7 of their last 8 games to move within one point of the first-place Flyers going into tonight's showdown in the City of Brotherly Love.

So, what turned the Rangers season around? Some might say their recent string of wins is due to Captain Jaromir Jagr re-emerging as a dominant force. Or, Scott Gomez beginning to settle in and find his game. Some might even say the emergence of the Rangers' "kids" have energized the team.

While all of that may be true, I prefer to think my daughter has made all the difference. The team's current 7-1 run just happened to coincide with her birth, and she has become the good luck charm for the season. I have posted a picture below of her enjoying (sleeping through) her first Ranger game.

Out-of-Sync Gadget Transformed Into Defensive Machine

After the Rangers collective contraption blew a gasket against the Ottawa Senators on October 13, when they gave up 3 goals in 52 seconds, I described them as being “like a rich kid’s rendition of an out-of-sync gadget thrown together for a science class project”. Link to October 13 article.

This description* actually made a Philadelphia Flyers fan (JD FLYGUY) write: “You have no idea how much that made my day. I think I have a new favorite quote. That's pure genius”. Link to JD FLYGUY’s quote (in comments section).

The irony is that after shutting out the Flyers 2-0 tonight, the Rangers seemingly out-of-control science project is beginning to resemble a defensive Frankenstein, which was masterminded by a mad hockey genius.

Having given up only 2 goals in their last 4 games, 8 goals in their last 8 games, and a league low 23 goals in 14 games, the Rangers find themselves as the league’s top defensive team with a GAA of 1.64.

The Rangers, who’ve amazingly also scored a league low 1.78 goals per game, have obviously found the answer to their season-long offensively offensive woes—the best offense is a good defense, combined with a royal goalie (King Henrik Lundquist).

Humorist’s Hindsight: In the NOT DEAD YET category, Brendan Shanahan is trying to bury the October 17 pronouncement by myself and former Rangers statistician, Nomar Goles, that his goal scoring ability is “dead”. Shanahan has scored 3 goals in his last 4 games, including resurrecting his patented one-timer against the Flyers tonight.

In figuratively trying to stay off the “corpses’ cart” that was immortalized in the classic film, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Shanahan has not only proclaimed his goal scoring as being “not dead yet” with his recent surge, but he was also overheard after tonight’s game saying, “I feel happy. I feel happy”.

*The original quote that JD FLYGUY responded to was “like a rich kid’s rendition of a gadget thrown together for a science class project”. I later added “out-of-sync”.

Courtesy of The Hockey Humorist - http://hockeyhumorist.blogspot.com/

No More Nomar—With Nomar Goles to Tally, Slats' Stats Man Goes Out ... Then Sather Says Let Seymour Goles Go In

NEW YORK—New York Rangers general manager, Glen Sather, announced today that team statistician, Nomar Goles, resigned shortly after the Blueshirts 1-0 loss to the Pittsburgh Penguins. The search for his replacement, however, didn’t last very long.

Apparently Goles had been under a lot stress since the Rangers opening night’s 5-2 victory over the Florida Panthers. Since that game, Goles was deeply concerned because the Rangers simply weren’t scoring many.

Having been shutout in two consecutive games, scoring only 8 goals in the last 7 games, and posting a league low 13 goals for the season, the only name the supposedly high-powered Rangers have been living up to is Nomar’s.

According to Goles, he felt personally responsible in some way. “It’s as though my name has put a curse on the whole team. I told Glen (Sather) on Sunday that the team might be better off not having me around. With my brother (who was an unemployed statistician) available and just as technically qualified as me, it seemed like a good idea to make a change,” said Goles.

On Tuesday night, apparently Sather agreed. Having watched Nomar Goles for the past two games, Sather said, “let Seymour Goles go in and hope that we start winning”. And with that, Nomar resigned and his brother, Seymour, immediately was in as the Rangers new statistician.

“It’s all for the best. I felt like the Maytag repairman for much of the season. Not having any work to perform is sometimes harder than having too much. I also took a lot of flack from what happened last week,” Nomar said.

Nomar was referring to having pronounced Brendan Shanahan’s goal scoring ability “dead” last Wednesday. The obituary entitled: R.I.P.—Shanahan’s Scoring Succumbs to Old Age After 19+ Seasons was published by the Hockey Humorist on October 17.

As to whether the new team statistician, Seymour Goles, might be willing to alter his brother’s findings on Shanny’s scoring ability, Seymour is uncommitted. “I’ll have my eye on Shanahan’s goal scoring, but I’ll have to see more,” said Seymour.

Meanwhile, Sather remains optimistic that this move will help the Rangers turn their disappointing season around. “Seymour Goles is a name that the whole team can rally around. It will be our new battle cry. Besides, at this point I’ll try just about anything,” said Sather.

Humorist’s Hindsight: Let’s hope that this same-day double play works out better than the last one Sather pulled. After signing both Scott Gomez and Chris Drury within hours of each other on July 1, the yearly $14+ Million dollar duo has combined to average barely over a half a point per game each (9 points in 16 combined games), while showing very little chemistry with their linemates.

I also find it quite interesting that both Nomar Goles and the Hockey Humorist received quite a bit of criticism over what was said in R.I.P.—Shanahan’s Scoring Succumbs to Old Age After 19+ Seasons.

Today, Larry Brooks of the New York Post and Dubi Silverstein of the Blueshirt Bulletin both expressed their concerns over whether Shanahan’s age is a factor in Shanny’s scoring decline. Here are the links: Post and Blueshirt Bulletin.

Brooks even quotes some of the same statistics that I used in several of my articles, such as the fact that Shanahan had only “scored six goals in 29 games before his Feb. 17 concussion” last year. Too many Ranger fans either seem to be unaware of these facts or are just ignoring them.

Although Shanahan’s scoring may have stopped, my pursuit of this subject matter will not.

Courtesy of The Hockey Humorist - http://hockeyhumorist.blogspot.com/

Bruins & Bad Boston Ice Bounce by Blueshirts as Slap Shots Strike Down Straka

BOSTON—Despite a much improved team effort, strong defensive play and another stellar performance by goaltender, Henrik Lundquist, the Rangers never got the bounce they needed (and deserved) while losing 1-0 in a shootout to the Boston Bruins.

Ordinarily the story of 1-0 shootout would be that neither goalie, Lundquist or Manny Fernandez, allowed a goal during regulation or overtime. Or perhaps it would be about the game-winning shootout goal scored by Bruins forward, Phil Kessel. However, this was no ordinary game—thanks to the maintenance crew at the TD Banknorth Garden.

Either the Garden maintenance crew never found out about the time change for today’s hockey game (from 7 pm to 4 pm) or they donated their services all day to the Boston Red Sox in preparation for night’s playoff game at Fenway Park.

Regardless of the reason, when the referee and players were ready for the drop of the puck at 4 pm, the Garden ice certainly was not. All game long (for both teams) the puck hopped, skipped, rolled and bounced over sticks, skates and everything else. In fact, during the waning seconds of regulation time, one bizarre ricochet off the boards went right through the Boston goal-mouth and nearly deflected off Fernandez into the net.

Icy gravel would have provided a better playing surface than that cold, chippy concoction of crap on which the Rangers and Bruins were forced to skate. The puck, which wouldn’t sit down or cooperate for anyone, acted like a stubborn, untrained dog who needed a good smack on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

To put this issue in its proper perspective, today’s ice in Boston was equal or worse than the most horrid ice conditions I’ve ever witnessed at Madison Square Garden. Given that I’ve been a Rangers fan since the early 1970’s, this is an indication of how outrageous and insulting it was to watch today’s game.

Adding injury to insult, Rangers forward, Martin Straka, received an unfortunate break after bravely blocking two blasts off the big stick of Bruins defenseman, Zdeno Chara. According to the Rangers team-owned (or NHL owned—depending on who wins the lawsuit) website, Straka broke a finger on his right hand.

This is especially bad news for a struggling Rangers team that is already playing without injured forwards, Sean Avery and Marcel Hossa, and who have scored a league low 13 goals.

Despite Straka’s injury, the Rangers outplayed Boston for most of the game. After holding the Bruins at bay through three first period Boston power plays, the Blueshirts outshot the Bruins 22 to 10 the rest of the way.

This game was certainly close enough that under normal ice conditions, it is very possible the Rangers might have lost anyway. On the other hand, the Rangers might have prevailed and picked up both very-needed points. It’s a shame that a fair outcome hit a bad patch of Boston ice and hopped out of everyone’s collective reach.

With the talent-laden Pittsburgh Penguins up next for the Rangers, it will take bounces and breaks of another kind to prevent the Blueshirts from falling three games under NHL .500 this early in the season.

Courtesy of The Hockey Humorist - http://hockeyhumorist.blogspot.com/

Big Scoop Needed to Clean-Up Blueshirts' Bullshit After Blueland Blowout

ATLANTA—Bottom-feeding Atlanta was the latest team to “kick the crap” out of the Rangers … and boy did it stink!

Bolstered by boisterous Blueland* boosters, the Thrashers thoroughly throttled the Rangers throughout tonight’s tilt. The game’s final score of 5-3 was no indication of how one-sided it was for 50 minutes.

Although one could say that Rangers goaltender, Henrik Lundquist, was good enough to keep the Rangers in the game early, it is a moot point because the Rangers didn’t bother to show up for the game at all.

Before the Rangers finally exerted themselves midway through the third period, Atlanta had already built an insurmountable 4-0 lead on goals by Pascal Dupruis, Slava Koslov, Todd White and Bryan Little. Marian Hossa later added the fifth Thrasher goal.

Third period goals by Dan Girardi, Brendan Shanahan** and Scott Gomez would have given the Rangers a respectable result, if they hadn’t just lost to an Atlanta team who came into the game with a record of 0-6-0 and a league worst 4.50 goals against average.

In reality the Rangers play dropped another level, going from the gutter to the sewer.

In trying to direct blame at specific Ranger players, the human body unfortunately doesn’t have enough fingers (or toes) to accomplish the task. But one player who simply cannot escape my finger’s poke is Rangers defenseman, Thomas Pock.

Pock, perpetually posing as a practice pylon, proved to be the perfect replacement for much-maligned, Marek Malik. Although Pock had his share of giveaways (with at least one egregious offender), he probably didn’t quite match Malik’s nightly quota. This, however, was only because Pock was too busy watching Thrashers skate around him all night, while letting other Thrashers plant themselves in front of the net as goals were being scored.

Overall, Pock had a minus 2 rating for the evening and was on the ice for 3 of Atlanta’s 5 goals.

Even the three late Ranger power play goals weren’t much consolation for the Blueshirts special teams, because the Rangers managed to give up 2 power play goals and a short-handed goal themselves.

This chemistry experiment is quickly turning into a dismal failure, while mad professors, Tom Renney and Glen Sather, desperately continue their search for the missing combination of ingredients. Should they fail to find the winning formula, the Rangers laboratory will soon be boarded-up and declared a disaster area by New York governor, Eliot Spitzer.

*Blueland is the nickname for Atlanta’s home rink, Philips Arena.

Humorist’s Hindsight: **That was no misprint—Brendan Shanahan actually scored a goal. This just goes to show you that even an old, broken clock is right twice a day. Now should Shanny net another 25 or 30 goals this season, I will be happy to issue a public apology over my last post entitled: R.I.P.—Shanahan’s Scoring Succumbs to Old Age After 19+ Seasons.

Courtesy of The Hockey Humorist - http://hockeyhumorist.blogspot.com/

Combustible Chemistry Causes Rangers to Self-In-Sen-erate in 52 Seconds

NEW YORK — In one of the oddest reported occurrences of spontaneous human combustion, 19* men simultaneously blew up in front of over 18,000 horrified witnesses.

Although the entire explosive event took less than a minute, one scientist, who happened to be on hand, had a handle on how it happened.

“Whenever you combine very potent and efficient Canadian firepower with MSG ice, sloppy defensive play and too many new player combinations, there is always a small chance of having this kind of freakish result,” said Korean chemical engineer, Yu B. Sik.

Fortunately, since the fireworks finished so fast, the fire department never had to be called. Although Ranger head coach, Tom Renney, was unavailable for comment, Brendan Shanahan took “a shot” at giving the players’ explanation for the Manhattan Meltdown. Unfortunately, like all of his other shots this year, Shanahan was off target with his comments—missing the microphone by a good two feet.

Amazingly, despite the horrific happenstance, all 19* players survived and are expected to be in the lineup Thursday against Atlanta.

*I gave backup goalie, Stephen Valiquette, an exemption because he didn’t play. However, this is only an honorary exemption, because had Valiquette been in net, things might have gotten worse yet.

Humorist’s Hindsight: Let’s face it. Even if the Rangers hadn’t self-imploded by giving up 3 goals in that minute of misery, they had no chance against the vastly superior Senators. Ottawa was so clearly the better team in every phase of the game. This includes being bigger, faster, more skilled, quicker to the puck, more physical, having a better transition game, etc.

At this point Ottawa is like a well-oiled, fine-tuned industrial machine, while the Rangers are like a rich kid’s rendition of an out-of-sync gadget thrown together for a science class project. It seems hard to believe that in the next 6 months the Rangers are going to be able to catch up with their Canadian counterparts.

It also doesn’t help that the Rangers have next to nothing left in the salary cap kitty (sorry tdr) with which to purchase any meaningful machine parts before the trade deadline.

At the moment, I can only think of 2 funny aspects to the Rangers slow start to the season:

1) That anyone could have seriously believed the Rangers were Stanley Cup contenders, given that they will almost certainly have to get past Ottawa in the playoffs, and

2) That Glen Sather shelled out over $5 million to Brendan Shanahan this season, believing that he was still a formidable goal scorer—despite all the contrary evidence over Shanahan’s last 38 regular season games of 2006-2007. Details of Shanahan's "sinking ship of a scoring shot" from last season are found in the middle of this August 3rd article.

With 5 more goalless games to start this season, Shanny’s Fanny is going to get an “old” fashioned, verbal butt kicking by the Hockey Humorist in posts that will appear sometime before Thursday’s game in Atlanta.

Courtesy of The Hockey Humorist - http://hockeyhumorist.blogspot.com/

Anticipation: Philly Style

After easing my summertime hockey withdraw at rookie camp this morning, I felt it was about time my Philadelphia season preview was written. We have been called the most improved team in the NHL by Sports Illustrated, and unless you've been hiding under a rock this off-season, you know why. We weren't the team that got arguably the top 2 free agent centres (NY Rangers - Drury, Gomez) to bolster our offense, but we were the team that reconstructed it's roster, from top to bottom.

For those of you who haven't beeen enlightened, I'll give a brief synopsis.

Before season's end, the Flyers newly appointed GM, Paul Holmgren started the re-vamping of the roster. As the trade deadline approached, Holmgren decided it was in the best interest of the club to part ways with captain Peter Forsberg. Foppa was sent to Nashville in return for highly regarded defensive prospect Ryan Parent, a 1st round pick in the upcoming Entry Draft, and quick fan favorite Scottie Upshall. If that wasn't enough, he kept going. He acquired Buffalo goaltender Martin Biron for a 2nd round pick (T.J. Brennan), Atlanta defenseman Braydon Coburn, and Chicago defenseman Lasse Kukkonen. Not bad for only a few weeks of work.

Prior to one of the most anticipated free agency periods in recent memory, Holmgren showed the hockey world that he was here to stay by sending the Pred's 1st round pick (Jonathan Blum) back to them and acquiring offensive-defeseman Kimmo Timonen and budding power forward Scott Hartnell. Soon after shocking the hockey community with his bold move, he prepared for a free agency period that would truly change the face of the franchise, as if it wasn't different enough. Just hours into free agency, Holmgren signed star centre Daniel Briere to an 8 year, $52 million, front-loaded contract. Later in the day he continued to reassure fans by trading away frustrating defenseman Joni Pitkanen and talented, but over-the-hill forward Geoff Sanderson to Edmonton. In return the Flyers acquired locker room favorite Jason Smith and potential-driven winger Joffrey Lupul.

Whew...not-so-brief. Thanks for sticking with me. Almost done.

Many analysts are writing the Flyers off as not making the playoffs this upcoming season. What one needs to remember is that the Flyers, prior to last season, were riding a streak of 11 straight seasons making the playoffs. Another thing that people are seeming to forget is that the year prior to last season, the Flyers still had a lot of their leaders from previous years in the lineup, notably Keith Primeau (even injured, his presence was more than enough), Eric Desjardins, and Chris Therien, all of whom retired the following off-season. Point being, last year is not what people should be going by when they think of the Flyers. Even towards the end of last season, we were a competing opponent. Here is a fact that may be making you re-think our team at the end of last year: of our 19 games after the trade deadline, 13 of them were either losses by 1 goal or wins. That's 68%. That same stat before the trade deadline is 33 games out of 63, being 52%. You can't tell me that this year's team should be judged by last years overall measures after that fact.

The keys to success this season lie in chemistry, special teams, and depth. There is no doubt that the Flyers might be the best team on paper going into this season, but if there is no chemistry on the ice, the paper doesn't mean anything. Our powerplay last season was hard to watch. In fact, it felt like we had more scoring chances on our penalty kill - I wouldn't be surprised if the numbers are close. Now that we have powerplay specialist Timonen and penalty kill specialist Smith, we should have improved both areas significantly. Regarding depth, the Flyers need to prove that they can stay healthy, and if not, still succeed. 05-06 was a good year for the Flyers in that area; we set a season high for man days lost to injuries yet still made the playoffs. We had a lot of help from the minors, to say the least. What needs to happen this year is that youngsters like Ryan Potulny (a personal favorite), Steve Downie, Ryan Parent, Lars Jonsson, Stefan Ruzicka, and Ben Eager have to show that if their time comes, they are up to the task.

There aren't too many roster spots open going into training camp as of right now (0 centers, 1 wing, 0 defensemen), so look for the roster to look like it does now going into the regular season. It should be a good one Philadelphia fans. Let's just forget about last year and be excited about this one!

There were a few other points I wanted to touch on (division challenges, possible captainship, etc.), but for the sake of brevity, I'll hold off.

Otherwise, let's go Flyers!!

Cheapskate Owners Fleece Fans on Both Ends

While I was away in Maine last week, the Buffalo Sabres announced an ingenious new ticket pricing plan. The Sabres call it the "Variable Pricing System." Here is how the team describes this new system:

Individual game tickets are based upon the Sabres innovative, Variable Pricing system, which is a newly created program where each game is designated by one of four different classifications (Gold, Silver, Bronze and Value). Each classification is determined by the opponent, time of the year, day of the week, rivalries and games against all-star players.

GOLD GAMES

Gold games will be those games that typically have the highest demand with regard to the opponent or the date of the game.

SILVER GAMES

Silver games will typically be weekend games (Friday, Saturday or Sunday) or games versus high demand opponents.

BRONZE GAMES

Bronze games will typically be mid-week games or against up-and-coming opponents.

VALUE GAMES

Values Games will be "family friendly" priced games that are offered at a deeply discounted rate for the season.

For the cheapest seats in the house, here is the price breakdown:

Gold: $68

Silver: $41

Bronze: $29

Value: $20

The Sabres host the Rangers and Flyers twice each. One game against each team is slotted as a "Gold" game and one game against each team is slotted as a "Silver" game.

So, what does this all mean? Well, it means that the Billionaire Owner of the Buffalo Sabres, Tom Golisano, didn't think it was worth his money to re-sign either Chris Drury or Daniel Briere, but he certainly thinks it's worth his fans' hard-earned money to watch them come back to Buffalo and play against their team. For the four games against the former Sabres stars, fans have to pay $218 as opposed to the regular price of $80 for games Golisano and his errand boys in the marketing department didn't deem worthy of extortion. It must feel great to pay so much extra for the right to watch these guys play for another team. Talk about pouring salt in the open wound.

This is what makes the small-market NHL owners so lovable. They whined and screamed for a lockout, and took over the wheel of the league and drove it straight into the iceberg. Now, they finally get the system they held the players and fans hostage to get, and they are complaining about the big-market teams spending too much money. But, that won't stop them from charging their own small-market fans an arm and a leg to see those big-spenders when they come to town. The best part of this is that other owners will catch onto this idea, and it will drive up revenues, which, in turn, will raise the salary cap. But, if you think owners like Golisano will take your money and use it to put a better product on the ice, don't hold your breath. They will be the ones trying to shut the league down again to lower salaries, and blaming the Rangers and Flyers for destroying the small markets, while they laugh all the way to the bank to deposit the extra money they made off those very same evil teams.

Will the Rangers go “All the Way”? - Size Does Matter

In addition to staying True Blue to my tagline of “Shooting From Angles Not Covered By Any Other Blogs”, I am going to be just a little forward and fire my rubber load (so to speak) in the direction of a subject that I have yet to see mentioned on any Ranger blogs, websites, message boards, newspapers or magazines. And if this subject has been covered in any of the aforementioned forms of “social intercourse”, its coverage has been scanty.

While the main focus continues to be (and justifiably so) on the Rangers sizzling summer, double-dip splash into the UFA pool – A.K.A. Scott Gomez and Chris Drury – other ubiquitous Ranger topics include: 1) draft day’s Russian Heist (Alexei Cherapanov), 2) the relatively peaceful signings of Henrik Lundquist, Brendan Shanahan, Petr Prucha and Marcel Hossa, 3) the signing of Sean Avery after an ornery arbitration hearing (and its long-term consequences), 4) the trading of Matt Cullen and who his replacement will be, 5) the potential impact of Marc Staal and other highly touted prospects, 6) what will become of the current glut of defensemen and how the defense corps will ultimately pan out, 7) general opinions on the Rangers chances of winning the Stanley Cup, etc.

What never seems to be brought up is a very simple question: Are the Rangers physically equipped to be capable of winning the Stanley Cup? One of the reasons this potent poser should be a timely one is the urge that some of the league has had to enlarge since the events of last spring. Once the Anaheim Ducks consummated their season with hockey’s ultimate gratification, the Stanley Cup, some NHL teams have chosen to “go with the flow” and mimic the mighty Ducks. This was evident in the 2007 entry draft, where some teams refused to succumb to the temptation of raw talent, and instead decided to reload their pistols with brawnier ammunition. After all, in this copy-cat league the physically dominant Ducks have become the envy of all their gamey rivals in the hunt for next year’s big prize.

One might argue that the league’s rules favor fast, skilled teams - not necessarily big ones, and Anaheim’s championship was more an aberration as opposed to the beginning of a new trend. This argument would be supported by the fact that no Stanley Cup winner has repeated in 10 years, and that historically a size advantage in the playoffs doesn’t necessarily become the deciding factor. The Philadelphia Flyers, in their Bobby Clarke days, are the probably the best examples. On the other hand, had the Flyers actually added an elite goalie to the mix for many of these years, their physicality might have been the force that carried them over the top to lift Lord Stanley’s Cup.

The biggest difference between today’s hefty hockey teams and those of yesteryear is that some of the current NHL teams, namely Anaheim and San Jose, have a frightening combination of size, strength, speed and youth. Anyone, who was watching the Detroit-San Jose series, would have bet the family fish tank after game 3 that the Sharks were going to swim away with this one. But despite being seemingly over-aged, out-muscled, out-skated and out-matched for much of the first 3 games, Detroit proved in a stunning 3 game turnaround that a “strength of character” advantage can sometimes offset an entire host of physical deficiencies. Should the Sharks be able to overcome their character issues this year, their daunting endowment of assets might make them the favorites to sink their teeth into the Cup.

Anaheim is dealing with a number off-season issues often encountered by defending Stanley Cup champions, such as players contemplating retirement and an increase in their players’ perceived value (and salary demands). This often leads to the loss of some players, who are lured away by other teams willing to overpay for their services. So depending on how things shake out for Anaheim, they could be headed for a fall this spring. On the other hand, should Anaheim eventually be able to get their Ducks in a row without ruffling too many of their franchise feathers, they will be every bit as formidable as they were last year.

What about the Rangers? As much as I enjoyed their brilliant resurrection late last season, which climaxed with an improbable surge to the playoffs and a first round thumping of a throttled Thrasher team, I knew that they realistically had no chance of “going all the way”. Although the Rangers inevitable encounter with the Buffalo proved to be a much closer contest than I could have ever anticipated, ultimately they were destined to succumb to the Sabres wealth of weapons.

But even if the Rangers could have pulled off the humongous upset against Buffalo and had the stamina to outlast the Senators (in what would have been a tough and evenly matched series), their bubble would certainly have burst against a physically superior Western Conference foe.

In the playoffs, much of a team’s success depends upon which opponents they are pitted against and how well they match-up against them. The Rangers had plenty of skill and speed, but not nearly as much as Buffalo. The Rangers certainly had enough size and grit to physically stand up to any Eastern Conference team that made the tournament, but not nearly enough to withstand the perpetual pounding that they would have received at the hands of the Ducks or Sharks. Had the Rangers encountered either of these teams in the Finals, they would have been eaten alive – as Duck soup for Anaheim or as Shark bait for San Jose.

In fact, the Rangers were fortunate that Philadelphia and Toronto didn’t make the playoffs last year. In the regular season, even though the Rangers could compete with these teams, it was obvious that both the Flyers and Leafs were more broadly built than the Blueshirts. Had the Rangers faced either squad in the post season, they would have had trouble holding their own in hit-for-hit hockey. Of course, the more drawn-out a series becomes and the further into the playoffs the match-up occurs, the more difficult it is for a smaller team to cope with the carnage inflicted by their colossal counterparts. This means that the Rangers would have a better chance of surviving this kind of clash had it occurred in the first or second round, as opposed to the final two rounds.

Relatively also enters into this equation. Certainly a team can more easily overcome a disadvantage, if the disadvantage is a minor or moderate one. A real mismatch can arise when one team has substantial supremacy in size, speed, or skill.

As teams continue to assemble the off-season pieces to their respective puzzles, it’s hard to say for certain how much of a relative advantage/disadvantage each club will have next year in the desirable attributes of size, speed, and skill. We won’t know the answers until each team’s internal competitions have been decided in league-wide training camps and all their final transactions have been made.

Aside from particular line combinations and defensemen pairings, the Rangers really have only a few spots that remain in question. Assuming that Ryan Callahan and Daniel Girardi have completed their post graduation requirements from the Hartford Academy and will remain in New York, along with two year veteran, Hossa, that leaves only one center position, a couple of fourth line positions, and one or two defense positions remaining in limbo (assuming no further trades).

Therefore, we have a pretty good picture of how the Rangers breakdown in some of the key physical categories. They would appear to have good (but not excellent) team speed and plenty of skill that would probably allow them to stay competitive (in this sense) with just about any team in the playoffs – especially since the Sabres machine lost two of their main cogs in Briere and Drury. Although the Rangers parted with a very speedy center in Matt Cullen and a very skilled center in Michael Nylander, they picked up two very fast centers in Gomez and Drury – with Gomez possessing excellent playmaking skills and Drury bringing a host of intangible qualities (one of which bit the Blueshirts in the butt in game 5 of the Sabres series).

As far as size and strength goes, they’re simply not among the Rangers strong suits - notwithstanding a couple of players whose physical force could potentially wear down their playoff opponents, such as Jaromir Jagr and Hossa. This is not to say that the Blueshirts don’t have some gritty players, as well as some other players (aside from Jagr and Hossa) of impressive stature - at least 6’1” and over 210 lbs. It’s just that Shanahan, Marik Malik and Paul Mara don’t play a physical style that wears down the opposition, while Colton Orr and Jason Strudwick are fringe players who are often not dressed.

Brad Isbister, whose offensive capabilities could never be confused with Joe Thornton’s, did provide the Rangers with some well-needed bulk late last season and in the playoffs. His ability to work the boards, cycle the puck and compliment Jagr made him an effective player, and in that sense, he will be missed. I should also mention that if the question mark at center is answered by Brandon Dubinsky, then on top of the other talents he brings to the table, his ponderous proportions and feistiness would definitely be a welcomed addition to the team.

Overall, I would say that the Rangers could physically endure a playoff series against most teams, but would very likely get blown away by the power of some of the jumbo jets they could engage in battle.

The reason that I’ve barely touched upon the “joys of youth” is because a Stanley Cup championship team is generally composed of a nice blend of young bucks and wily vets. Next season, the Rangers will probably have the right mixture of those ingredients.

Perhaps the most important factor in determining whether the Rangers have a chance to “win it all” is chance itself. Who knows if the elements that GM, Glen Sather, compounds will result in good chemistry? Who knows how healthy the team will be, especially heading into the playoffs? Who knows if a topsy-turvy season will be topsy or turvy in late April? And finally, who knows in the pursuit of the ultimate conquest, what sequence of opponents will need to be conquered?

So with size being one of many uncertain variables, will Lady Luck scorn the Rangers for their physical shortcomings? Or will the Rangers have the goods to get the gold (silver in this case)? These answers will go a long way in determining how deeply they can penetrate into the big dance come next spring. The final score will either show the Rangers living large as Stanley Cup champions, or being pre-maturely humbled as inadequate also-rans.

Postscript: Should the Rangers surmount all the obstacles and defy all the odds this season to hoist hockey’s Holy Grail, then next summer they would be wise to beware of invaders from the Great White North (Edmonton). For if “Kevin the Poacher” aims his next Lowe blow at the Rangers family jewels, they must prepare themselves by defending their Cup.

Courtesy of The Hockey Humorist - http://hockeyhumorist.blogspot.com/

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How Sather “Dropped His Briefs” to Let Sean Avery Escape .... In a White Ford Bronco???

In the worst jurisprudence blunder since the Simpson prosecutors allowed O.J. to handle his own gloves on the witness stand in the 1995 “Trial of the Century”, Rangers general manager, Glen Sather, has made a “bloody mess” of the entire Sean Avery affair.

Please understand that I’m not trying to equate the injustice of a double homicide with the incompetence of a poorly executed contract negotiation, as this would be highly insensitive to the homicide victims and their families. However, there are two scarcely mentioned (yet undeniable) links between the New York Rangers and O.J. Simpson. The first part of this irrevocable bond occurred on June 17, 1994, when just hours after the Rangers and their fans celebrated the recent Stanley Cup victory with a downtown ticker tape parade, Simpson & Co. (inside the White Ford Bronco) began their historic “slow speed chase” with the LAPD. The second (more indirect) link was that the insatiable public appetite for anything and everything Simpson-related (after the car chase), along with the accompanying “media circus”, forced Sports Illustrated to place Simpson’s police mug shot on the front cover of their next issue – a spot that SI was unquestionably reserving for the story about how the Rangers had finally ended their 54 year curse (1940-1994).

And speaking of curses (while getting back to Avery), if Rangers fans thought that the 54 year hex was a “bitch to bear”, it might be nothing compared to what awaits them after next summer. Because at that time (barring a miraculous and unlikely reconciliation), Avery, who is already known on the ice as trash-talking, vindictive, contentious and the “most hated player in NHL” (as voted on by his peers), will hit the UFA market with a chip on his shoulder the size of Mount Everest, along with a venomous vendetta aimed directly at Sather and (by default) his entire organization. And the most unfortunate aspect to this entire debacle is that it could have been so easily avoided – several different ways.

The first way Sather could have avoided the Avery ordeal focuses on the root cause of the problem – which is the Rangers tight salary cap numbers. When Slats signed premier UFAs, Scott Gomez and Chris Drury, for a combined $14.4 million per cap year, it put a noose around the Rangers “cap collar”, which has been tightened a notch by each additional signing - with only the Matt Cullen trade providing any slack. It’s far too early to judge the Gomez/Drury signings with so many factors to be determined down the road, such as: how well the two play on Broadway, how much longer some of the other highly paid veterans play, how well the Rangers low-salaried prospects pan out over the next few years, how the salary cap upper limit fluctuates in upcoming years, etc.

I also can’t find fault with the signings of Prucha, Lundquist and Hossa, as the cap realities in addition to the three players wanting to be part of this year’s potential Cup run, allowed all parties to come to fairly amicable, short term resolutions. There is one glaring exception here – Brendan Shanahan.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Shanahan as much as the next Rangers fan, and I’m delighted that he’s back with the team. He provides leadership, character, professionalism, team spirit, versatility, endless hustle, and even occasional goals. Occasional? I will clarify this with cold, hard facts. After his stellar scoring stampede of the first 29 games (22 goals on 141 shots, 15.6% SP), Shanahan’s scoring stumbled sharply in the next 29 games (6 goals on 116 shots, 5.2% SP). These are his pre-concussion stats. In the final 9 games of the season, he scored 1 goal on 38 shots with a 2.6% SP – giving him a total of 7 goals on 154 shots (4.5% SP) over his last 38 regular season games. One could argue that he is a streaky player who was in a slump - but for 38 games (29 pre-concussion) I don’t buy it.

Notwithstanding a fine 5 goal (12.2% SP in 10 games) playoff performance, which I admit does give me a little bit of reservation here, it would seem that Shanahan’s days as a 40-50 goal scorer are behind him. Furthermore, Shanahan didn’t show particularly good chemistry with several linemates (Prucha being the most glaring), nor with Jagr on the Power Play. Far too often Shanahan’s presence on a line caused his linemates to focus primarily on feeding him the puck for his classic one-timers – which is just fine – if he scores on them a lot more than the 4.5% of the time he did over the last 38 regular season games.

My point is that at age 38 (soon to be 39) Shanahan has become somewhere between a valuable role player and a star, and he should be paid accordingly. Given the fact (much to his credit) that Shanahan didn’t want to talk to other teams so he could be part of a potentially special Ranger squad this year, and that he essentially said he would do anything that made financial sense for the Rangers to help accomplish this goal, it seems to me that $5.3 million ($2.5 counting towards this year’s cap) is ridiculously high. At most he should have received the $4 million ($2 million salary & $2 million bonus) he earned last year, or even $3 million ($1.5 million salary & $1.5 million bonus). Had Sather paid Shanahan reasonably, he would have had another $500,000 to $1 million of salary cap room this year that could easily have been sent Avery’s way to avoid any arbitration and the ensuing consequences.

In fact, if it ever came down to prioritizing between Avery and Shanahan (in this stage of their careers), I’d choose Avery. The Rangers went 17-6-6 with Avery in the lineup. In games that Avery played and Shanahan didn’t, the Rangers went 8-3-4. In games that Shanahan played and Avery didn’t, the Rangers went 25-24-4. Certainly a stingier defense and sharper goaltending were big factors in the Rangers surge to the playoffs, but Avery was perhaps the biggest single factor in the Rangers remarkable turnaround last season.

As Larry Brooks of the New York Post wrote it in this article - Avery added “a jagged edge to a team that had been way too smooth for its own good the first four months of the season”. Avery, at age 27 and in his prime, got under the skin of his opponents - drawing far more penalties than he took. He displayed never ending energy, hustle and grit – while proving that he also had plenty of speed, skill and scoring ability. He kept himself in control (just enough) to be an extremely effective player without overly rocking the Rangers burgeoning boat along the way. And on top of all this, he played with an assortment of injuries that would have kept many a tough competitor out of the lineup.

Let’s face it, when the Rangers trashed the Thrashers in that four game playoff mercy killing, was there any Ranger more valuable than Avery? In addition to his offense output of 1 goal and 4 assists, Avery had the Thrashers top line so uncomfortably pestered that they looked as though they were skating in circles the entire series in search of insect repellent. No doubt, Avery has become a player whose intangible value is almost immeasurable. And for the first time in his career, Avery has built a connection with the fans, his team and their city. They love Avery, and in turn, Avery loves playing for them. This nomad had finally found a home.

Now all of this is not to say that Avery wasn’t in need of an attitude adjustment when he first arrived with the Rangers – a procedure that quickly and somewhat surprisingly was deemed a success (much to the credit of Shanahan). However, as we’ve discussed, attitudes weren’t the only thing in Rangerland that needed adjusting. Just like piano strings have to be tuned every once in awhile, I’d say that Sather’s purse strings (as well as his priorities) could have used a fine tuning before July 1 – with some purse strings being far too loose while others being far too tight. Had Slats been tuned in time, Avery could have been rewarded for his outstanding efforts from last season, and the ugly events of the past week could have been avoided.

But even after the fiscal mistakes (detailed above) were in the rear view mirror, Sather could have driven the dangerous Avery (and all his personal baggage) to safety, if not for the second of his three mistakes – not settling before the arbitration hearing on the obvious $2 million compromise. This is something that everybody with at least one marble rolling around in their head knew was going to happen anyway. The Blueshirt Bulletin summarizes its best in a post entitled: Why Bother?

Why didn’t both parties meet around the $2 million range – given that the numbers submitted at arbitration were $2.6 million by Avery and $1.3 million by Sather? Perhaps it was mutual stubbornness by two people with a history of having rather contrary dispositions. Right now it is unclear if either side offered the $2 million compromise and other side refused. If Avery was the one to refuse, then most of the blame would point at him. However, Sather’s reputation for playing hardball with his RFA entrants, make him the odds on favorite in this blame-game derby.

Still, despite these “comedy of errors”, the real damage had not yet been done. The third way this fiasco was avoidable would have been if Sather had used a more long-sighted, diplomatic approach throughout the arbitration process. Had he done so, Slats wouldn’t have pushed the volatile Avery into feelings of shock, resentment and disbelief. The handling of Avery, both on the ice and in negotiations, is as delicate a task as handling Nitroglycerine. Done properly, and Avery becomes a powerful weapon capable of helping you win wars. Done carelessly, and Avery can blow up in your face.

I realize that Avery and Sather both signed the arbitrator’s $1.9 million peace offering and that both sides are now talking “nice-nice”. But Avery’s initial reaction to Sather’s overly harsh treatment of him during the arbitration process is proof that Slats had already dropped the Nitro, and the inevitable explosion will come next summer.

Ordinarily the story would end here because we all know what happened and why it happened … or do we? It turns out that up until now, we’ve only been presented with a partial picture of the events surrounding the arbitration process. However, brand new evidence from a strange, yet somewhat familiar, source will astound even the hardened hockey fan.

The source I speak of is now a part-time European scout for the Rangers. He is a Finnish man with a somewhat Czech-ered past, including a stint as an actor in both Finland and the Czech Republic. Having a hard time making ends meet, he once appeared in a Finnish porn film – getting a good “bang for the buck”. This scout, who is extremely affable, has a magnetic personality – especially when it comes to beautiful women. He understands the English language quite well when heard or in writing, but he barely speaks a word of it. He is very popular with the Rangers brass when he comes to New York – not the least of which is because of his reputation for knowing how to find all the best European hotspots and parties in Manhattan. So when he comes to town, it’s nothing for Ranger employees to “put him up” in their guest houses. Wait a minute…guest houses? It couldn’t be….. could it? Remember, I said he was Finnish, so you know that we’re not talking about Kato. His name is actually Reijo – Reijo Raitinen.

According to Raitinen, Sather was very thorough in his preparation for the Avery arbitration hearing - gathering documentation on Avery’s entire career. Contrary to popular belief, Slats put together a fair, reasonable outline that effectively stated the Rangers case without being overly harsh to Avery. Sather intended to use the information contained in the outline to create a brief for the arbitration proceedings.

The night before the Rangers had to present the Avery brief to the arbitrator, Sather and a lower-level, but trusted, assistant were having coffee at local bistro. All of the Avery documentation was in Sather’s briefcase when Slats and his assistant went to the men’s room to answer nature’s cappuccino call.

Both men were standing at the urinals when Sather (with one hand holding his briefcase) used his other hand to loosen his own belt. It is at this time when Sather endured the executive embarrassment of eternity, which began when Slats’ slacks slipped (try saying that 3 times fast). Then, while trying to grab his trousers, Sather’s hand hooked his Hanes – accidentally pulling them down. And when I say that Sather “dropped his briefs”, I mean that Sather really dropped his briefs – as the Avery documents came tumbling out of his briefcase and all over the grungy bathroom floor. Bottomless, bewildered and berserk, Sather frantically put the papers back in the folders. However, in his haste Slats placed the papers from Avery’s “Pre-Rangers” folder into the “2007 Arbitration” folder and vice-versa.

Completely pressed for time now, Sather handed his “2007 Arbitration” folder to his assistant, who then couriered them to Cam Hope, the Rangers Assistant General Manger of Hockey Operations. Then against all hope, Cam wrote the final arbitration briefs from misplaced documents out of the wrong folder. The Avery briefs presented to the arbitrator said (among other disparaging verbiage) that Avery was “a reasonably effective player as well as a detriment to the team”. This statement is absolutely true - from 1999 to February 4, 2006. Shortly after February 5, 2006 (the day he was traded to the Rangers) we all know that Avery was an extremely effective player who was a major asset to the team.

By the time of the arbitration date, July 30, the briefs had already been submitted to the arbitrator. Sather had since discovered the mistake, but it was too late - they had to proceed with what they had previously written. As Sather and Hope (soiled briefs and all) stormed into the hearing, they replaced Simpson detectives, Tom Lange and Philip Vannatter, as the latest version of “Dumb and Dumber”. Of course, the ultimate irony in this fantastic farce is that it was never a case of premeditated mediation mangling (as commonly believed), instead it was a case of unplanned underwear undermining.

You may ask how did Reijo learn the details of the “Brew House Brief Bungling”? Apparently the night of July 30, while “hanging” at the Rangers corporate offices, he heard three mysterious, loud thumps. Quite concerned, Reijo had a secretary call the police. After detectives investigated the incident, they discovered no signs of burglary or foul play. Instead, the sounds actually came from Sather himself, who had pounded his fist on desk three times in anger over the day’s events.

You may also ask how do I know Reijo? Well, it turns out that we have a mutual friend – the girl he costarred with in that Finnish flesh flick. She and I have what you might call a ….uh-hum….professional relationship.

How will all that transpired affect the Rangers in the short-term? Ironically, it could help them. With Avery playing like man possessed next year (trying to earn a big UFA payday) and the Rangers having a very strong team already, a little luck and some timely tinkering by the otherwise competent Sather could result in another ticker tape parade down the Canyon of Heroes next June. Certainly, the Rangers are considered contenders for the Cup, but in all likelihood their chances of winning it are relatively low. As good as they are, the Rangers still have a number of holes to fill, and the very competitive nature of the NHL, makes it difficult for any team to win it all.

As for the long-term consequences of the Avery affair - fear not, I have no doubt that one day the Rangers will again “Skate the Cup”. The only problem I have with this prediction is that of timing - given that the Rangers big day might well be the same day that O.J. and his posse of PIs make good on their 1994 promise and catch the “real killer”. Which leads to my final word of warning to Ranger fans - don’t hold your collective breaths while waiting for the next Stanley Cup. With the “Avery Curse” soon to be hanging over the Rangers heads, this wait may “last a lifetime”.

DISCLAIMERS:
Everything written after (and including) the paragraph that begins “Ordinarily the story would end here…” is completely fabricated – a figment of my “slightly-warped” imagination. To the best of my knowledge Slats' slacks never slipped, and every fan’s favorite Finnish house guest, Reijo Raitinen, does not actually exist – but it was sure fun partying with him!

Courtesy of The Hockey Humorist - http://hockeyhumorist.blogspot.com/

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Caught in His Own Duck Trap, Will Burke Lowe-r “The Finger”?

They say “it’s lonely at the top”. This certainly appears to be the case for general manager, Brian Burke, of the defending Stanley Cup champion Anaheim Ducks, who appears to have gotten tangled up in a Duck trap of his own making. Not knowing the status of returning/retiring stars Teemu Selanne and Scott Niedermayer, combined with tight salary cap numbers, the Ducks inadvertently left duckling, Dustin Penner, ripe for poachers. Enter Edmonton general manager, Kevin Lowe, whose final bazooka shot in this year’s RFA hunting season, is a bulls-eye aimed right at the beak of Penner.

Burke has publicly ripped into Lowe for what he calls “an act of desperation by a general manager who is fighting to keep his job". Burke’s beef seems to be more about the amount of the Oilers offer sheet to Penner (reportedly 5 years for $21.25 million), as opposed to the act of trying to snatch the young Duck from his Anaheim nest. Burke complained that “this is the second time this year in my opinion Edmonton have offered a grossly inflated salary for a player, and it impacts on all 30 teams”.

It’s amazing to me how times have changed, when in the past, it was always the big market teams – led by the fiscally irresponsible Rangers – who were accused by small market teams, like Edmonton, of inflating player salaries by overpaying for talent. Now, the new salary cap system creates the opportunity for a small market team - whose obscure northern location is as inviting to free agents as a bad case of Pneumonic Plague - to turn the system upside-down (or at least sideways) and grossly overpay for a player who has scored all of 45 points in his fledgling 82 game regular season career.

Regardless of which frozen pond (Edmonton’s or Anaheim’s) Penner ends up skating on for the next 5 years, there are two certainties: 1) he will be earning an average of over $4 million per year, and 2) his contract, inked in unchartered waters, will have a rippling effect on future RFA contract negotiations between NHL teams and their young, potential stars.

Burke isn’t tipping his hand on which way is leaning on this issue – other than to indicate that he must confer with ownership before making the call. No matter the outcome, this should certainly be an amusing week for all of us as the Thursday deadline approaches for the Ducks final decision. Something tells me that, regardless of when Burke and the Ducks make up their minds, this one is going to go down to the final minutes - partially because this ordeal has gotten so personal between Burke and Lowe that Burke has even ripped Lowe for the timing of his attempted heist. Burke said "I thought Kevin would have called me and told me it was coming. I thought that was gutless…I think it's a classless move timing-wise”.

Brian, maybe it’s just me, but I never knew that there was a polite way to forcefully clip a Duck’s feathers. But it’s another thought that I have that really has me eagerly anticipating the Thursday Duck-Oiler shootout. Given the bad blood that has developed between Burke and Lowe, I keeping wondering whether the “Dustin Duel” will end up like the infamous “Sakic Skirmish” of 1997, when Rangers general manager, Neil Smith, unsuccessfully attempted to pillage the cash-strapped Avalanche with a front-loaded RFA offer to Joe Sakic.

That week-long event climaxed with Colorado general manager, Pierre Lacroix, sending a last minute fax to the Rangers (just to stick it to Smith), indicating that they had matched the offer sheet to Sakic. As an appreciative gesture to Smith and the Rangers for further f__king up their financial affairs, Lacroix’s fax included the legendary 1976 picture of vice-president, Nelson Rockefeller, “Giving the Finger” to a group of political hecklers in New York.

As D-Day approaches, we can only wonder whether Burke will handle his hardship with humility and class, or whether he will strike Kevin with a Lowe blow. Let’s all keep “The Fingers” crossed.

Courtesy of The Hockey Humorist - http://hockeyhumorist.blogspot.com/

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Panthers new apparel unveiled...

New Florida Panthers jerseys were released earlier today, and many fans aren't too pleased with this change of look.





I'm not too amazed or blown away by these last two additions.
The Rangers jersey (posted yesterday) was a lot worse than their current one with the slanted lettering and this Panthers jersey looks OK but too Wal-Marty for my tastes.

-BBeR

Rangers new jersey leaked?

Ok, I've had a habit of striking out in the past...twice to be exact, receiving fake Canadiens and Sharks jerseys by email and posting them on here, only to get incredible threatening hatred comments.
If this is not the real thing (though I'm betting it is this time) ignore it, you don't need to make it your life's priority to go around hating everyone who presents you with a fake jersey unknowingly on a blog which he does for fun in his spare time.

Here is the most recent gamble of mine: the New York Rangers new insignia and uniform style for next season (Special thanks to reader Matthew)

Away jersey:
(For a higher quality and better resolution version, click here)


Home jersey:
(For a higher quality and better resolution version, click here)


I really believe this is the real thing, and here are some points that lean into my favour:
1) It is a photograph, not an image or concept.
2) It was said the Original Six teams would be allowed to keep their horizontal stripes if they wanted to...observe the Blue, White and Red stripes.
3) Jersey authenticity can also be seen through the shape of the jersey, the NHL crest on the front, and the Canadian flag tag in the collar, meaning that the jersey was made in Canada (as always).
4)And for those of you who still doubt, there are no crappy cover-up Photshop attempts anywhere on these photos.

I think made my point...but one thing I cannot verify, is whether or not this jersey is one of many prototypes, a widely suggested theory for the New York Islanders new jersey photo found in the uniforms post as few stories below.

I also find it interesting how the RANGERS is aligned, diagonally...hmmm could be interesting; I wonder how many perfectionist fans will take to that.

Go ahead, and prove me wrong!

-BBeR

Cullen to Canes Challenge - Prove That I Didn’t Nail It First!

Maybe it’s a case of petty-pomposity, or maybe I just have nothing better to do with my time. But my July 9 blog (at another site) was the first written occurrence in the hockey world to speculate on the Rangers trading Cullen back to Carolina.

Click Here to See the First Written Mention of This Trade:

It wasn’t a case of sudden, brilliant prognosticating. Instead it was a simple case of putting 2 and 2 together (No I’m not cloning Brian Leetch, bringing them out of retirement and pairing them with each other). It was reported that Carolina was looking for a third line center, and with the Rangers tight to the cap and having recently acquired Gomez and Drury, Cullen’s expendability and recent history with the Canes seemed to make this one obvious. Within a couple of days of July 9, this trade was being speculated everywhere. But on July 9, it was only “moi”.

The Challenge: If anyone can produce concrete evidence that this trade was publicly mentioned in writing before my post on July 9 at 4:06 PM Eastern Time, then I will owe you a bag of pucks. Not much I admit, but I’m just an unpaid, volunteer blog writer. If by some miracle you do win this challenge, hit up Matt Cullen and his $2.8 million a year contract for a grander prize. Besides, humiliating a Rangers fan in public should be reward enough for any of you.

The Secrets Revealed: While we’re at it, here is another chance for you to learn about why the Rangers seem to be able to maintain a mysterious defiance of the salary cap, while also holding an iron grip on Russian Hockey fans. This tale of intrigue includes a mystical Russian man and suggests an underground pipeline of dubious double dealing that flows from Russia to the Rangers Management - and all the way to the National Hockey League Headquarters.

Click Here to Uncover The Truth About All the Above-Mentioned Secrets:

I'm sorry but 3 comments just were not enough.

Cullen Back to Canes

According to TSN.

In a move that surprised absolutely nobody, the Carolina Hurricanes have re-acquired Matt Cullen from the New York Rangers for two stiffs and a 3rd round pick. Maybe the Rangers intend to get under the cap after all!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Cullen profess that he'd prefer to stay in NY?

Lies, damn lies!!! So, is this just a classic case of the hot girl dumping the nice guy after he dumped his original girlfriend? Or could it be that Cullen has been so thoroughly programmed with cliches like everybody else in the NHL that he honestly didn't believe he could be traded to a team that might actually want him?

From Russia with Love: Ruskees Root for Rangers

In a painfully, horribly translated Russian article*, only one thing is clear - the favourite NHL (NKHL) team of Russian “compatriots” is the New York Rangers.

Click below for link to article. Warning! English majors and linguistic purists should keep some aspirin near their mouse before clicking.

Link to Russian article:

Second Warning! Do not attempt to use your spell checking and grammar correction tools on above article, as previous attempts to do so have generally resulted in software crashes and hardware failure. I hope that this second warning wasn’t too late.

Now back to proper English. The Russians’ top ten NHL teams in order of preference are:

"Rangers"
"Detroit"
"Montreal"
"Colorado"
"Ottawa"
"Chicago"
"Philadelphia"
"Atlanta"
"Pittsburgh"
"Toronto"

In trying to understand exactly why Russians feel a bond (shaken, not stirred) with the Rangers, three reasons come to mind.

1) Brighton Beach, home of the largest Russian community outside of the motherland, is located in New York City.

2) Alexei Kovalev, Alexander Karpovtsev, Sergei Nemchinov, and Sergei Zubov, who were the first Russian players to have their names engraved on the Stanley Cup, did so while members of the 1993-1994 New York Rangers.

3) The Rangers were the team who selected (with the 17th pick) the highly touted Russian, Alexei Cherepanov, in this year’s entry draft – finally stopping his freefall from one of the top five prospects in the draft (as ranked by many scouting organizations).

In fact, none of these answers are correct, and as is often the case, we have to dig a little deeper to find the real reason.

The answer lies in one of the best kept secrets in the hockey world – Yuri Snirakov. Mr. Snirakov, a mathematical genius and devout connoisseur/consumer of Russia’s favourite inebriating brew (vodka), has been employed by the New York Rangers for the past two years as their head salary cap strategist. As it turns out, Snirakov moonlights as one of the United States’ largest importers of Russian vodka, and it is speculated that many of the recently built hockey arenas in Russia were partially funded by proceeds from Snirakov’s vodka sales. Always the loyal employee and diplomat, Snirakov keeps a bountiful amount of the “White Stuff” continuously free-flowing throughout the Rangers upper management - all the way to the Salary Cap Compliance Division at the nearby NHL headquarters in New York.

Click below to see directions from Madison Square Garden to the NHL headquarters in New York – a.k.a. “the Vodka Pipeline”.

Link to map and directions:

Let’s face it - how else could the Rangers 1) sign the two most expensive UFAs in this year’s pool, 2) re-sign all of their own key free agents, both restricted and unrestricted, to substantial salary increases, 3) retain all of their key players** under contract (including “yaromira Of yagra” who will make over $8.3 million this season), and still manage to keep anyone from their own organization or NHL headquarters from questioning whether they’ve exceeded the upper salary cap limit?

*First discovered original Russian article on Blueshirt Bulletin.
**I'm not counting former third liner, Matt Cullen, as a key player.

DISCLAIMERS:
Yuri Snirakov is a fictional character – a figment of my slightly warped mind. To the best of my knowledge, there is no one by that name employed by the New York Rangers. Any resemblance or similarity of Yuri Snirakov to any person (fictional or real) who is either living or deceased; or any resemblance or similarity of Yuri Snirakov to any business, organization, or other entity (fictional or real) is strictly coincidental.

I have no knowledge or evidence that the New York Rangers management has ever used any illicit means to garner favors from the National Hockey League. I have no knowledge or evidence that any form of alcoholic beverage has ever been exchanged between (or even consumed by) any one associated with the New York Rangers and the National Hockey League. For all I know, everyone associated with both organizations might be teetotalers.

I have no knowledge or evidence of a division actually named “Salary Cap Compliance Division” at any National Hockey League headquarters anywhere in the world. Therefore, in order to determine for yourselves how the Rangers keep managing to mysteriously stay under the upper cap limit, I suggest that you hire your own private investigators, contractual attorneys, and mathematicians. On the other hand, perhaps some mysteries are best left unsolved.

For all of our Russian “compatriot” readers who are offended by this blog, because it contains content that can be construed as “Russian Stereotyping”, I do apologize. If it helps, my ancestry is partially Russian, and I don’t consume vodka or any other form of alcoholic beverage – although I am good at math.

Finally, for all of our Russian “compatriot” readers who are either a) not offended by any “Russian Stereotyping” contained in this blog, or b) don’t care about the “Russian Stereotyping” and are just looking to get “sloshed”, I understand that Mr. Snirakov is quite generous in dispensing the “Monopolka” to his fellow countrymen. However, since I’ve already admitted that Yuri Snirakov doesn’t actually exist, your chance of scoring a couple pints from him is relatively low – if not impossible. Try your local pub or liquor store.

Did the Rangers Pay Too Much for King Henrik?

There seems to be a bit of a debate brewing about the Rangers decision to ink Franchise Goaltender Henrik Lundqvist to a one-year/$4.25 million dollar contract to avoid salary arbitration and build a bridge to a long-term deal in January. Some, including the New York Daily News' John Dellapina praised Lundqvist for working with the team and agreeing to put off signing a long-term deal to save the team some 2007-08 cap space. Others, including Larry Brooks of the New York Post, have pointed to the $2.667 million salaries earned by comparable two-year veteran goalies Cam Ward and Ryan Miller as evidence that the Rangers are paying Lundqvist significantly more than he would have been awarded in arbitration. Thus, the deal is actually a detriment to the Rangers' already perilous cap situation for the coming season.

I tend to agree with Brooks here. While Lundqvist is certainly the key to any shot this team has at success, the Rangers are not obligated to pay him more than what he should be paid under the CBA. Since King Henrik is an arbitration-eligible RFA, they were right to use arbitration as a way to prevent other teams from extending a cap-busting offer sheet. They also should have calculated what they believed he would have been awarded in arbitration and made that offer to him, with the promise to lock him up to a long-term deal in January. The team would have been in a position to save some cap space this year, while still being able to offer him the kind of big contract he would get on the open market.

Let's understand something here. The Rangers are still going to lock him up to the same 5-6 year deal at $5.5-6 million a year in January that they would have if they had saved the likely $1.5 million by going to arbitration, or signing him to a more reasonable contract. They aren't going to get any discount for giving him the extra money this year. The only difference is they now have an even more difficult cap situation this season than they should. I have no problem when the team signs players like Gomez and Drury to big contracts. They are playing by the same rules put forth by the CBA as everyone else. But, when it comes to a situation like this, the Rangers should also use all of the rules of the CBA to their advantage.

Report: Cullen Could be Headed Back to Carolina

According to a report by John Dellapina in the New York Daily News, Rangers' Center Matt Cullen could be heading back to the city to which he helped bring Lord Stanley's Cup in 2006. Dellapina writes:

Sather is shopping center Matt Cullen, with a trade back to the Carolina Hurricanes very much on the front burner. Should the Rangers shed Cullen's contract (three years left at $2.8million per), they'd trim nearly $3million from this season's cap hit.

That could simply provide flexibility for potential in-season moves. But it just as easily could be the first step in a plan to clear enough cap space to sign free-agent defenseman Sheldon Souray, whom the Devils and Islanders have pursued. Unloading defenseman Paul Mara's $3million salary undoubtedly would be another requirement.

As we have discussed here all week, the Rangers moving Cullen is not a surprise. Cullen is a terrific third-line center, with great speed. He does all the little things well, and he is certainly the kind of guy you often find on successful teams. However, he is the most logical forward on the roster to be moved to clear cap room. The Rangers really created this problem when they signed Cullen last summer. As I wrote above, he is a good third-line center, but the Rangers signed him to center the 2nd line and set up Brendan Shanahan, hence his $2.85 million cap number. After watching Cullen struggle on the second line on Broadway, the Rangers felt so strongly that Cullen was not the answer at that spot, that they broke up their top line late in the season and moved Martin Straka to center the second line. They then proceded to tie up $14 million in cap space on Scott Gomez and Chris Drury to center their top two lines. When you have that much invested in your top two centers, you simply can't also pay $3 million to your third center. Well, at least not in the salary cap era (we all remember the Rangers paying Bobby Holik $9 million a year to be their third center). So, while I like Cullen, and I wish the Rangers didn't have to move him, the reality is that when you add as much salary as the Rangers have this summer, sacrifices must be made elsewhere on the roster. And, this is a necessary sacrifice.

As for Souray, I continue to believe that, even if the Rangers deal Cullen and move Mara and his $3 million salary, it still won't be enough to get a Souray deal done, unless you can get him to take a one year deal for $4 million. If Souray was willing to take that kind of deal, he would have already been signed. I know his agent is very close to Glen Sather, but Souray is also close to Martin Brodeur, so if he wouldn't take that kind of deal from the Devils to play with Marty, why would he take it from the Rangers?