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28 April 2007

Breaking news! Evil woman evil no more! The story on why she loves the Habs! EXTRA! EXTRA!

This just changed my life, an enemy from the other battlecamp changed grounds this morning and has united in mortal kombat to defeat the enemies of the Northeast and beyond with the sacred and beloved Montreal Canadiens.

Got ya, didn't I?

But really, she was *oh no!* forced *oh no!* to write this because she lost by a measly 10 points to Matt in the hockey blogger playoff pool.

[...]"Matthew is evil".

Rule number one:
Leafs fans= evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil
Sens fans= evil evil
Habs fans= want to take you out to dinner


Dear Habs,
So...how's it going on the other side of the border, eh? I guess you're pretty cool. I mean "Habbies" even sounds pretty cute.

No woman! We're Habs, as in "Habitants", as in les Canadiens!
Pfft, not Habbies, do you think we're running a teddy bear joint for girls under 4 years old here or something?

Like a cat.
Only if its fur is bleeding bleu, blanc et rouge!

Well, my friend told me the story of how her Aunt's cat was very fidgety and liked to kick things and she was nicknamed "Kung-fu Kitty" and the first connection I made in my head was "Saku Koivu sounds like a Kung-Fu move", ergo....I am going to name my cat Saku Koivu.

Slow down there woman!
Koivu, SAKU KOIVU, a kung-fu fighter? At least make him a kick boxer, cause he's a Finn, c'mon, he's no Jet Li!
And besides, a puny house cat is a weak creature. I see you like cats, how about a big cat?
Why don't you name your new pet lion I'm sending in the mail Saku Koivu?
Or is that too tame?
Ah! I know, my piranha headed, tiger feeted monster would be perfect!
Please inform me as I'm going to package it and send it to you soon!

8. Sheldon Souray's tendency to break his stick was the inspiration for my first ever HNIC drinking game.

The stick breaking was all-planned, you didn't hear?
No! Some evil master minded Sens fans infiltrated Souray's entire stick collection constantly last year so the Habs couldn't win, because some greedy Sens fan (apparently, how interesting, she's a woman!) would rather watch Souray's allegedly awesome body move around from the ice-level and turn towards where his stick broke just so she can get a glimpse of...sigh.
And apparently, she would sit in the same spot game in and game out not caring what the game was all about, just to obssesively observe the one man she desired.
She counted how many times his sticks broke and had a drink for each one at the local bar.

10. [...]You're also one of the few teams that still have to pay a land tax for your arena. Sorry about that.

Ah yes, but in return for the land tax, we actually get a good crowd, probably the best in all of hockey, maybe in all of sports.
And whatyou looking at? Don't you think those Scotiabankers would like it better if the seats were filled 100 straight games, and not just for the playoffs?
The million fan question: would you pay a land tax to get all the Sens fans to come every single game?

2. You're not the Leafs.
Good thinking! I wonder who is dumb enough to mix up a crappy, whiny, baby, Bobcolie blue and white team with a...*dives to his feet* honourable, hard-working, fighting, ActuallyHaveMoreThanOneStanleyCupInlast40years-ing team?

But really, this all is a joke!
Sherry, you did a good job, I just hope for your sake CapsChick doesn't read this (already emailing it to her! :D )and you won't have to redo it!

I'm not that bad of a blogger...mouuuhhouhahaa, am I?

Good morning.

5 fanatics have replied:

CapsChick said...

Perfect :) Nice response, the goddess of all things nods her approval.

Bleu, Blanc et Rouge said...

It was fun, actually to write this, but damn!

My original mission to make you make Sherry redo it has failed!

No, but really, it't just a little poking fun.

:)

Sherry said...

See? This is just proof that Habs fans ARE indeed evil!

In my defense, I don't like to look at Souray's...ahem. I find him greasy and gross although I can see Spezza make him spin around in circles over and over again :)

Thanks for the response BBeR, I suppose it's good to keep things fair and balanced in the blog-o-sphere!

Although be sure that when I win the next round of the blogger pool it'll be YOU i call upon to the task.

Bleu, Blanc et Rouge said...

I'm just kidding about Souray, one of my friends likes to look at him so I took him since you mentioned him in your list.

No problem at all, it was actually my pleasure!

Oh God, ME, MOI, writing about those Ottawa Senators.

Blech, please, have pity.

:)

Matthew Macaskill said...

Bwahahaha. Good job mahn. Very interesting indeed (also glad Sherry will not be out for you, and not me, if she wins the next round... :D)

Though... I'm a big Dany Heatley fan and wouldn't mind writing a thing or two about him. :D

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All Rights Reserved. The content of this blog is the sole opinion of these bloggers and does not represent an opinion of any kind of a professional NHL hockey team mentioned.